17 SEP 2009, Thursday

1. I've been wondering where the Bear is. And today I found out.
2. The Bear was swept up by Obama's Team, swiftly placed in the Rendition Program and rumor is that he's being waterboarded in one of the caves behind NY's Niagara Falls.
3. The American Red Cross urged the government to allow an animal rights visit to check on the Bear's condition. The Red Cross case worker reports that the Bear, although having lost some weight, appears to be as strong as ever. And now he's mad to!
4. The Red Cross worker also told me that the Bear stated he snagged a spoon from the cafeteria and has been preparing his escape by secretly digging through the floor of his cell.
5. Orange is just not his color.
6. He needs to be free to roam the canyons of Wall and Broad!